Yesterday...

...all my troubles seemed so in my face.

It was a tough, cranky day. There is a situation with birds coming to the balcony. If I go into too much detail, I'll just get agitated and I really need to calm down right now. On top of that problem, which has been going on all week, I had visitors yesterday. It's not a secret that I have no particular affection for small children. I'm honest about my feelings, and I suppose Molly was just being honest when she called me "evil" repeatedly last evening while she was a guest in my home. Kari and Brandon were over, too, but Kari is tolerable and Brandon is mildly interesting. Finally, Molly left and it was getting dark. I thought there would be peace at last in my furry life. I settled into the chair by the TV, took a bath, and fell asleep.

Then Bethany showed up. The girl refuses to get a clue. She thinks she can go to college and save the world, but she can't understand why she and I don't click. Well, sweetheart, you come on too strong. Ha, the truth is that she could come on at any strength and I would still hate her. She just keeps getting her heart broken. It's the beauty of my allure.

Then Crazy Nana showed up. I'm thinking, It's after midnight, people! I thought they might take Katie with them when they left, but no such luck...

Today better be a quiet day or I will have a furry nervous breakdown.

Three's a crowd

She's back in the bed and it's crowded. I don't know why he let her come back. We were doing great with her sleeping in the living room. I could spend the day out there with her and the night in the bedroom, sleeping with a man, like God intended. I know I spent a couple nights sleeping in the dirty clothes, but I'm fickle. Andy knows that. He should've known I'd be back. It wasn't necessary to bring the woman back. This morning, she was irked at me because allegedly I took up all her leg room. It somehow got by her that it was she in fact who was taking up MY space in MY bed. Why did Scott leave me with such simple people?

"Attachment" Parenting

Katie saw this practice called "attachment parenting" on "The L Word," and now she thinks that the way she behaves is legitimate. The constant holding is apparently about keeping the baby in contact with a body at all times, and the idea that I have no bed of my own is part of this concept. I fail to understand the point, though. In all the excitement, Katie, with her two college degrees, overlooked the fact that Bette and Tina have a child and she has a cat. Children belong to parents, but cats belong to themselves. No amount of "attachment" exercises will make Katie my parent. If anything, she belongs to me. Who makes the rules? Who dictates where we sleep, when we eat, and how much touching happens? Me, me, me.

Banana Popsicles

Last night, I discovered yet another layer to my ever-evolving soul—which is there, by the way. Apparently, I like banana popsicles. Katie was eating (or, rather, licking—my specialty) on one, and I thought it smelled interesting. When she turned her back, I went in for a taste. It was cold, but it was gooood. She laughed and I gave her my look. She said, "Apparently, you like banana popsicles." And I said, "Apparently." Then she said, "Apparently" again, this time like Susan from "Coupling." She's been doing that lately. They both have.

Per usual, woe is me.

Here is my latest list of grievances. It's cold every single time I go outside so I suppose Katie is controlling the weather now, too. Katie's mouth is better so she can sing again. Basketball is on all the time and sometimes it's loud and hard to sleep through. I got stepped on a couple mornings ago and, of course, no one cares. Bethany came over last weekend and totally objectified me. I have a giant clump in my curly belly fur and Katie is after it like it's the last Coney dog left on Earth.

On the bright side, tonight was the season finale of "Living With Fran" so I guess I won't have to watch that anymore for awhile, and they still haven't found where I hid the comb and the scissors.

Through it all, I remain irresistably adorable. It is my curse.

Cat on the Run

I have clumps, and I am on the run from the crazy woman with the scissors and the conditioner—both of which are "for my own good," of course. This may be my last blog for awhile.

Birthday Smirthday

Yesterday was Andy's birthday and tonight I found myself attacking the gift bag I had used for his present. Of course, I don't have a birthday and so I don't really know how these things work. Katie had to help with the whole gift thing. I was also hindered by my lack of funds, my lack of transportation, and the fact that I just don't care at all about anything but sauce and clean litter and nap time. So I decided to give him a photo of myself for his birthday. He liked it, I think. Of course, he "forgot" to take it with him today when he went to the Sentinel. It was supposed to be for his desk. Oh well. Like I said, I don't understand birthdays. So I attacked the bag.